Category Archives: the importance of listening

Refusing to Believe

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How important is faith and belief? Does it really matter what we believe? This week when I taught a Creative Expression class to some elderly women in a retirement community, I was amazed how a woman’s belief could override the facts that were so clearly set before her. Let me explain. I began the class by talking about Beautiful Places. Those beautiful places could be a literal place or a place in time that was beautiful to that person. A woman, let’s just call her Sandy, told me about a time in her life that was “beautiful” She was young and had many pets. Some of those pets were dogs, cats, rabbits, ducks and even a pet chicken that lived in the house. She became very animated as she spoke about her chicken. I listened intently and then asked if she would like to draw a picture about that time in her life. She agreed. I had several magazine pictures with me. One of them was a dog and she agreed to attempt to draw the dog.

As she started drawing she told me how she could not draw and that she really didn’t know what she was doing. I encouraged her as she started making marks on her page. I gave her suggestions about where the marks might go, but she made 99% of the marks on her page. I enthusiastically encouraged her to continue as she wanted to stop several times. She continued to tell me how terrible the drawing was and how she could not draw. I continued to tell her that she was doing a wonderful job and that it was becoming a beautiful drawing of a dog. When she finished she looked at the picture and said, “Oh that is not very good at all!” Despite the fact that this drawing was charming and delightful, she was unable to “see” that reality. Her belief that she could not draw overruled the physical reality of the fact that she had just drawn a beautiful picture. It wasn’t until I took a picture of her drawing on my iphone and then showed it to her that she could look at her drawing with new eyes. “Oh, that is pretty good!”, she said. In the iphone monitor she did not associate the drawing as hers, it was now on my iphone and she could objectively see the beauty in it.

Perspective is everything. This woman had been told all her life that she could not draw. She believed that lie, because it was obvious that she could certainly draw. Her perspective changed when she saw the drawing in a new context. What beliefs do we have that are flawed and not based in reality? How much joy was being robbed from her due to that negative belief? Even as she drew the dog, she could not enter into the joy of the process as she kept repeating the lie… “I cannot draw”. Are there lies you are believing about yourself that are keeping you from seeing the truth about who you are and what you are capable of? Have people you trust told you how wonderful you are and then you tell them, no I’m not wonderful, I’m not beautiful, I’m not good enough?

Perhaps you need to think about changing that belief. Do you want to continue to believe a lie about who you are and what you are capable of becoming? Be willing to challenge your beliefs. Be willing to seek out the truth about who you are and why you are here. You were uniquely formed and made in your mother’s womb. God knew you before you were born and has a plan for your life. Get to know the One who made you. Get to know His son Jesus who was sent to save you. He knows you and loves you like no other and He welcomes you with open arms. Don’t let unbelief keep you from receiving His redeeming love for you.Image

You can see my artwork at my etsy store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/expressivepaintings

Heart To Heart

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"Through The Years"

“Through The Years”

Today I taught my first class called “Creative Expression” to four senior residents at a local retirement community. Although the class got off to a late start with confusion about the time and if the class was cancelled, four women came to take my class.
I’ve worked before with foster children in expressing their feelings but never with the elderly. I was in for a pleasant surprise. Each woman brought their preconceived idea about what they could draw and what “art” was. When I asked them to draw what the four main emotions: mad, bad, sad and glad looked like to them “Susan” said, “I don’t think I want to do that.” She started pushing back her chair from the table. I told her that it didn’t have to be anything in particular. It could just be a color. She nodded and said, she could do that. As the four women began drawing their images for the four emotions. They began talking about loss and dying and their experience or lack of experience with art. I was intrigued and asked more questions as they slowly and thoughtfully answered. After they finished their drawings, they shared what they had drawn. One woman drew a coffin for “sad” and shared that her sister is very sick and she may be nearing death. Another women talked about her confusion about whether she should stay at the retirement community or leave for “bad”. She said she felt anxiety about this decision. As these women talked I felt like a kid uncovering layers of tissue paper from a present. Each layer revealed a little more of what was inside.
These women were treasures that had amazing stories and a depth of feeling within them. I was just scratching the surface. At the end of the class, they sat there and looked at me. They didn’t want to leave. I didn’t either.
They had shared more than their drawings; they had shared a part of their hearts.
All I did was listen to them. They in turn opened up their hearts.
What a simple gift we can give to one another… the gift of an open ear. In turn we are given the gift of an open heart.
Something to think about as we celebrate Valentines’ Day this Friday.

To see more of my paintings visit my etsy store and website

http://www.etsy.com/shop/expressivepaintings

www.deborah-nell.artistwebsites.com